So, I’m trying to make this writing thing…a thing.
I always have such good intentions. I read books and blogs, and think about how I would love to do that! To be that person who writes! I buy the perfect notebooks and the perfect pens (old school, I know, but sometimes you just need the feel of pen and paper, you know?). I download writing apps so that I will have cutting edge technology in which to record my moments of inspiration. Yes, “apps.” Because you of course need one app for “journaling” and a completely separate app for writing the great American novel! I mean, come on. 😉
Then I Google creative writing tips and prompts, watch videos by people who have actually succeeded in making this “writing thing” a “professional thing” talk about process and discipline and how you too can become…wait for it…”An Author.” And I love it and them and my soul says “YES! That’s what I want to be!” I talk to other creative people in my life about what I should do or try to write and resolve to commit to a regular writing routine. And for a small space of time I feel connected to the writing community…without having actually written a thing. It’s way easier to get caught up in the idea than actually work in the reality.
Because the truth is, I’m terrified of the blank page. And I am sure many of you feel the same. Actually committing my thoughts and words to paper…seeing them in black and white where they can be scrutinized and judged and deemed unworthy is intimidating. And do people really want to hear what I think about…anything? Do I have anything of value to offer? There is a vulnerability inherent in exposing your innermost thoughts and ideas to the world. And rejection is…unpleasant.
And yet, I have also found writing to be one of the most joyful and freeing of experiences. When the inspiration is there and the words are flowing, there are few feelings better in the world. I have found clarity and understanding. What starts out as a jumbled stream of consciousness can turn into solidified beliefs and ideas. Or a skeleton of a story becomes fleshed out character and plot with emotion and depth. And when you can stand back and proudly say, “I created this,” and people identify with it and are moved…it’s amazing.
But I have to do. I have to act. I have to start. Start…with just one word and pray the rest will come. Because there is beauty even in imperfection. So that is why I am once again — at the beginning of this new year, also blank, yet unwritten and full of possibilities — attempting to start a blog. Not with any illusions of being an “author”, but simply as a place to start.
And it will be an incredibly eclectic collection of posts, I assure you! I most definitely feel like I wander from one interest to the next without real rhyme or reason. I’d like to think it’s because I try to find the good and the beautiful in all aspects of life, But most likely it’s just the ADD. 😉 So you will find posts here on life and faith, what I’m reading and what I’m watching (did I mention I have an inner fangirl who likes to come out and play? OH YES!), what I’m eating and drinking (because what is life without good food and better wine?), and hopefully along the way some of you will connect with the musings running around my crazy brain, and we can walk a bit of this journey of life together. Feedback is welcome and appreciated.
I need to also give a big shout out to my amazing friend Jennifer who also started a blog this year called All Things Messy. Very proud of her! She helped inspire me and is generally awesome, so you should really check out her blog too!
And so, in the words of my Doctor:
*French, “Let’s go!” 🙂
**If you knew that reference already, we definitely need to be friends! 😉